i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
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