And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
