OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
