I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
tequila makes me forget i have legs
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize