I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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