She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize