all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Randomize
