do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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