I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
