When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
