break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I love you. Go after that dick
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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