My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
