ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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