About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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