I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
