Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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