You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
