hotel room ftw
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...