I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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