We're like a lot better than the average bears
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
