I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
its liver damage thursday
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
