Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
