Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Randomize