"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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