I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
