OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
only you would photoshop your dick
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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