Nicole vs. Life
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
