When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
