We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I need water and some morals
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
