oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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