Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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