wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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