She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
