Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I will be naked everywhere
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize