if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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