i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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