New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
