just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
