you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
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I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
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Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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