well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
