I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
