Ambien. No doubt about it.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
My vagina just recognized that song.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
