Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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