I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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