I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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