oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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