Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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