I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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