Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
