He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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