i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
