Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
