what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
