That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize