I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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