From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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