i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
