Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
