Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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